Never Without You
by bexieb
Summary: Can hurtful words ruin their relationship or bring them closer...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Sam made her way up to his apartment. She had been worried about him all day. She wanted to know what had been going on with him lately. She wasn't the only one worried about him, the team were also. His behaviour had changed rapidly over the few months. He wasn't the same.

"Sam what are you doing here?" a scruffy Martin said.

Sam took a moment to reply just studying him. He wasn't the Martin she knew before. His eyes were all red, scruffy and not looking himself. She pushed her way through ready for some answers.

"I came here to see what has been going on with you for the past few months."  
She looked around and saw what a mess his apartment was. This wasn't what he was like. Sam soon spotted the bottles of pills.

"Martin what the hell is this?" She yelled holding up the bottle of pills. She read it noticing something.

"You stole this from the victim's house? Sam shouted now getting really angry.

"How could you do that Martin? You now better than that. You're lucky they didn't notice anything missing." Sam stared at him hard. All Martin could do was look at her. He didn't know what to say. 

"Martin let me help you! What can I do to help you?" Sam said with a plea in her voice. For once Martin just looked at her surprised. He didn't realise how much she cared about him. He always thought after the break up she had ceased to care about him. Guess he was wrong.

"Why do you care so much Sam?" Martin sat down on the couch looking at the pills really wanting more. 

"Because I L –"Sam started to say but decided not to. Ever since the break up she had opened up more to everyone and even noticed that maybe she did have feelings for Martin after all, but she didn't want to risk getting hurt again.

"Because you what Sam?" Martin was pushing her to say what she was going to say.  
But it was no use. Instead she said "Because you need the help Martin. Don't you see what you're doing? These pills aren't going to help you, there going to kill you if you keep on going the way you have been. You're better than this. You deserve better than scuffing all these pills down. You have a life and it shouldn't go to waste because of these damm pills. Where is the Martin I knew who was happy and didn't let anything bad happen to him? We want him back and most of all I want him back." Sam yelled at him hoping it would get into his head. She sat down next to him hoping he would say something.

"Sam these pills," Martin paused looking at Sam. At that very moment he could see all the hurt he caused in her eyes. "I depend on them. They are all I have. I can't help it Sam. You don't understand, when I take them I feel better and the more I feel better the more I take them. They help me Sam." Martin quietly said.  
"Well of course I don't understand. What you're saying is rubbish. Martin, they don't help you. Why can't you understand that? How many cases have we seen that involve drugs? Lots. And what do they end up doing to them? It kills them Martin because they start taking more and more till it comes to an end and they end up overdosing and eventually it kills them. Is that what you want, to kill yourself?" Sam looked at him with tears in her eyes, but quickly wiped them before Martin could see.  
"Sam, I just. I don't think you can help me, nobody can. Not Danny, not Viv, not Eleana or Jack. Nobody! This is my life and I decide what I want to do not you." Martin shouted.  
"I don't even know why you bother." Martin got up and walked to door hoping she would get the message and leave. But Sam was not giving up. It was only the beginning.  
"What is that suppose to mean?" Sam crossed her arms in front of her chest.  
"You know exactly what that means. You only care about yourself not others around you. Isn't that right? Always thinking about you you you. I'm glad I broke up with you. It was all of a waste of time being with you." Martin shouted at a tearful Sam and after seeing Sam like that he began to regret what he had just said.

Sam just looked at him with tears in her eyes. What he had said was hurtful. It felt as if her heart was being stabbed. Each word he said was a punch in the chest. She couldn't believe that Martin would even say that. Of course she cared about others; she wouldn't be here with him if she didn't. 

"I was wasting your time." Sam said so quietly frightening Martin. He had never seen Sam so hurt and angry and it was all caused by him.

"Sam. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." Martin stepped toward her but Sam was not taking any of it. The tears kept on coming.

"Sam" Martin tried again but Sam interrupted him.

"How could you even say that? Is this my punishment, to hurt me over and over again? Well congratulations Martin you have done it. I never want to talk to you again! Good luck with the drugs." Sam ran out of the apartment and that was all that was said.

Martin looked at the door thinking over and over again about what he had done. He had hurt the girl who he loved, the girl he had told that their relationship was a waste of his time. 

'How could I even do that? To my Sam.' Martin thought to himself going crazy. Sam was not the sort of girl who would easily forget things and move on. She was vulnerable and was always afraid of getting hurt by men.

'Good one Martin you just helped prove to her why she shouldn't trust men.' Martin banged his head against the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

The next morning Sam woke up with a killer headache. She groaned and got ready for work.

'This is going to be a long day,' Sam groaned.

Once at work Sam saw Martin at his desk working hard. She quickly got herself seated and started the work she needed to do. Martin spotted Sam come in. It made Martin guiltier just by looking at her. Her skin was pale and her eyes were all red and puffy he guessed from crying all last night and the lack of sleep.

Danny and Viv both noticed something was wrong with Sam and Martin. Usually Sam would say hello to him and look at him while no one was looking but Danny and Viv always spotted her. Both Danny and Viv looked at each other sadly.

Danny went up to Sam and asked what was going on with her. But all Sam would say was that she was just tired. But Danny didn't believe that for a second, he sensed it was more than that being the good agent he was. He went back to his desk knowing very well that Sam wouldn't talk anymore. Later on Danny caught up with Viv telling her that something was definitely up.

"I spoke to Sam and all she gave me was 'she's tired' but I've known her for a long time now and there's more to it that she's not telling us." Danny said worriedly to Viv.

"I agree. Just looking at Sam you can tell she's not alright, her skin is paler than usual and it looks like she's been crying." Viv said sadly to Danny wishing they knew what was wrong with the younger agents.

"Maybe we should talk to Martin. He might know something." Danny suggested.

"Ok you do that because he seems to be opening up to you more than to the rest of us." Viv said.

Danny nodded and left to go see Martin. "Hey Martin," Danny said taking a seat on the edge of his desk.

"Hey what's up?" Martin said not looking up from his work.

"Do you know what's going on with Sam? Yesterday she was happy and now she's all sad." Danny asked hoping he had answers about his friend.

Martin stopped what he was doing and looked up and then back at his work. Danny sensed that it had something to do with him and Sam.

"Martin what happened?" Danny pushed him for answers.

"I didn't mean to. It just came out." Martin said sadly.

Danny looked at him. It looked as if he was going to cry.

"You didn't mean to what Martin?"

"I said some awful things to her and I don't think she's going to forgive me." Martin looked at him sadly.

"Ok start from the beginning. Tell me exactly what happened." Danny said.

"Well Sam came round to my apartment sensing that something was up with me. She spotted the pills and got all angry and started to tell me that drugs aren't the answer and I'm better than that. Then I got all angry and started to say that our relationship was a waste of time and she was too. I didn't mean to say it just came out." Martin told Danny.

Danny couldn't believe what he had just heard. He didn't know it was that bad. All he could think about was Sam. 

"Martin how could you say that? Sam doesn't deserve this. She was trying to help. Why couldn't you see that? She loves you and you told her she was a waste of time. I don't believe you Martin." Danny said to Martin not impressed by his actions.

"I know I've done wrong. But I didn't intend for it to happen. Don't you think I know that now?" Martin chucked his pen down on his desk. "How do you know she loves me? She never said as much while we were together. How can you be so sure?" Martin looked at Danny.

"Because I know. I have known Sam for ages and all the guys she went out with before that would always break her heart only because she let them in. When you first joined this team I knew she had feelings for you." Danny said remembering what she had said.

"Two years working white collar in Seattle and he gets this assignment." Danny whispers.  
"Doesn't hurt to be Victor Fitzgerald's kid" Samantha said.  
"Mmm. No wonder he's smiling" Danny said.  
"Not a bad smile, either." Samantha smiled.

"Martin you have to know that Samantha has been hurt over the years and that's why she didn't open up to you when you guys were together. She didn't want to get hurt and when she started to you called it off. Did you know that when Sam told me about the break up she was so devastated and truthfully I've never seen her like that before not even after the way Jack treated her. She would stay with me and cry herself to sleep when she knew I was asleep, but I always heard her. Now you tell her those things which will probably result in her not trusting you again or any other guy for that matter." Danny told Martin who looked shocked.

Martin couldn't believe that she had gone through all of that. He didn't even know. Seeing her at the office she looked so normal but then again Sam was very good at hiding what she was feeling.

"What have I done?" a very sad Martin said to Danny.

"Well first off you could show her that you're sorry and you're going to do everything in your power to make things right by getting off the drugs." Danny stared at him hard.

Martin only nodded and that was it. Danny left him to be alone, letting him think over what he had just said. 


End file.
